Pretty Pennies

As I was walking down Morris Street today, I noticed that in front of one of the houses next to the sidewalk, somebody had piled about 35 pennies into a stack on the bottom stair. I smiled as I walked by, thinking that I too was having one of those dreamy kind of days, and I imagined myself sitting on those porch steps, idly organizing a few loose coins into a little copper tower. Then I thought, maybe this little column wasn’t so benign as that. Maybe it was put there as an experiment. Perhaps that little pile was put there to test passers by – to test me. Just behind the door sat the penny stacker, waiting for someone to pick them up. How long would it take? How many people would walk by, notice the free money, and continue on? One or two pennies is a fortune easily forgone, but this was a substantial pile. Only a few short of a roll. Nah, nobody’s that bored.

But then I remembered going to the home of family friends for a big barbeque a few years ago, and noticing little collections of change here and there – most conspicuously placed in the bathrooms. I thought for sure at the time that this couple had set them out on purpose, in order to test the honesty of their friends. They’re kind of crazy like that. I also remember thinking how much fun those kinds of experiments must be, if you’ve got the gall to set them up.

Sounds like the makings of a book – Fun With Human Nature: How to Expose the Worst in People. I think I’ll get on that.


May those who love us love us,
And may God turn the hearts of those who don't.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles,
So we may recognize them by their limping.
~Gaelic proverb

The wisdom to know the difference

A friend of mine and I were talking today about how we’ve lived – or not lived – up to the expectations we had of ourselves when we were kids. “Man,” he said, “I’m glad me-when-I-was-six doesn’t have to meet me-at-twenty-four. He’d be so disappointed.”

Somehow I don’t think that D-when-he-was-six had any idea what he’d be up against growing up. I know for myself, I thought I’d be prettier, wiser, and maybe more on top of things. I also thought I would be happier. When I was six, adults were always smiling. I had no idea that so many of them were smiling to keep from crying. I just thought that something about being grown up – about really knowing what was going on, and being free to explore and be “in” on all the secrets – was responsible for keeping the adults I knew perpetually happy. In other words, I really bought into the act.

As far as I can tell, I’ve had every opportunity to become the person I hoped I would be. I’ve been reckless with some of those opportunities, and it hardly seems fair. So many people could have done so much more with those chances than I did, but I can accept that I’ve made a lot of bad choices, been unkind to people who were kind to me, and thrown away opportunities at many a turn. Though I can’t change it, the sum total of those bad choices and – let’s face it, a bit of bad luck along with the good - is responsible for who I did turn out to be, and I like her okay. She can be hard to take sometimes, but that is something I can change.

Man, when I’m 45, I’m going to be awesome.

False Start

Now that it’s been over seven weeks since my last post, I’m compelled to pick up where I left off (a friend of mine [http://www.prose-repose.blogspot.com/] has linked his blog to mine in an attempt to get me writing again).
So, for all those who enjoy reading the minutiae of this new blogger’s journey, I’m back.
Let me offer briefly the following by way of excuses for the near two-month hiatus, then I’ll move right along:
First, my partner of five years, T, and I have put an end to a strained (both emotionally and geographically) relationship. Though our lives are taking us in quite different directions, T is a beautiful person. It is my sincere wish that he find lasting happiness, and I regret that we were not meant to find it together. I’m happy that we have – and will continue to have – a strong friendship.
Second, I fell behind in my thesis work somewhat, though I’m happy to say that I am now caught up and, in fact, ahead of where I had hoped to be at this point.
Third, unsure of what I would do post-thesis-completion (now that I will not be going back west to be with T), I have been researching teaching jobs in South Korea. I think I want to get myself to the southern seaport of Yeosu.


Presently, I plan to stay here in Halifax until I’ve saved enough monyand I’m ready to hightail it across the globe again. It’s been a few years since my last culture shock (Turkey, 1999), and at 25, I think I’m ready to shake things up again.

So those are a few reasons for the missing posts. Kwazer, I will try not to let it happen again.